Didja ever find yourself in a situation where time had blurred your perception of something? I don’t mean a month or two or last year, but I mean YEARS. When I was a young’un, I remember my folks taking my brothers and myself to a list of places around northern Ohio. The Blue Hole, Seneca Caverns, Put-in-Bay and Marblehead. Recently, two attractions in Marblehead were in the news because this is the last summer they’ll be open. The owners of Mystery Hill and Prehistoric Forest are closing the joint site so they can enjoy their retirement.

When I saw the article, I remembered going to Mystery Hill and being really intrigued by the place. I wanted to go back and see it before it was gone, and thought it’d be cool to take the kids. They seemed interested and we added two of their friends to the group. As we pulled into the parking lot after an hour’s drive, my scam alert went into hyperactive drive. The view from the parking lot was one of high density cheese. A large, funky-looking dinosaur stood in front of a large, man-made hill with a waterfall. Mike got out of the truck with a ‘what the heck’ look on his face. I did panic-mode, thinking I drove four teenagers an hour away from home, to see something that was gonna earn me the “L” mark on my forehead.

I had checked the place out on their website, and had been fairly interested in the Mystery Hill part, not-so-much in the Prehistoric Forest, but they were a package deal, and some of the dino pics looked pretty good. Mystery Hill’s attraction is that gravity has gone awry here, water and tennis balls roll uphill, and it’s really weird.  So, I thought the almost $9 per head admission might almost be worth it.

So, we go in, I pay the bill for all five of us, and we head up the hill. We stop for a very rehearsed presentation on something that may or may not have been valid, and then we’re directed up the hill to the building at the top. Up the gravel path we climb, past a putt-putt course, and then the path is bordered on both sides by a fence. As we come to the top of the hill, the area opens up and we are standing in front of a building that leans a bit to the right. Immediately, my head feels weird, as if there’s pressure on the right side of my brain, and I’m thinkin’, “Ok, this is weird!”

As you can see, the building tilts to the right, against the gravel-covered path, that seems to be level. I don’t know if the skewed structure is contributing to the off-kilter feeling, but I’m not the only one, as Mike seems a bit off-balance in the photo above. Also, the water seems to be moving UP the PVC piping attached to the side of the shack. But yet, it flows down as well as up. So, um…..huh??

In we go, teens first, me following as I take pics of everything and check out the water thing. There’s no pump, except the one that takes the water from the barrel and pours it into the half-pipe at the top. Very odd.

So, as I approach the doorway, I’m treated to this view:

Wait, what the..?   and then this:

Michael has one leg bent behind the other and is leaning on the air. Yes, you read that right, and that’s the same thing Alainey is leaning on. Absolutely nothing.

Granted, you can see in these photos that the floor is slanted, but I’ve walked up ramps steeper than this, and haven’t felt pulled backwards. We actually felt PULLED toward the lower area. Kristen got me here, too.

Here’s some video I shot there:

So, we spent about 20 minutes and change inside the shifted shack. We had fun, and the plan was to next get some pics by the dinosaurs (mind you, the website pics looked pretty good) as if the dino’s were chasing them.

Down the path, directed through a small building (CHEESE ALERT!!!!) with plastic displays, and then out onto the path into the “Forest.”

A giant praying mantis? Ok, this is not going to play out like I wanted, is it?

No, I’m thinkin’ not.

Hell no. Definitely not.

This T-Rex was pretty impressive and would’ve been moreso if his lower half wasn’t hidden behind a plywood wall, to keep us from seeing the machinery that made him turn slightly to the left and right.

I think there were about 14 dinosaurs, give or take, and the most serious pictures are the ones above. Forty-five bucks for 20-odd minutes in the House on the Hill, and a walk through the “Forest.”

I’d been had. Hard.

We agreed that a couple bucks a head would’ve been worth it, but not $9 per. Could have done without the lizards. But hey, we made up for it by heading over to the Marblehead Lighthouse.

All in all, a good day spent with my kids, and my adopted kids, and we all shared some laughs. And I hope I remember with some semblance of clarity the places I’ve taken (and will take) my kids, so that when they ask me in years to come about taking their kids somewhere, I can help them avoid the not-so-worth it spots. This will be closed by then, and I won’t have to worry about it.